“Just a Mum” by Shelley Argent
When I came out in 2007, my absolute greatest ally was my Aunty Gail. At the time, unbeknown to me, she was Secretary of PFLAG+, a group dedicated to supporting families who have a family member who is LGBTIQAP+. Aunty Gails's friend, Shelley Argent, was the President. Shelley has quite a reputation of being probably Australia's greatest champion in the support of the LGBTIQAP+ community and has been a key driver in change, including the changing of laws, most notably changing the Marriage Act in Australia to allow same sex marriage, that directly improve the lives of members of the LGBTIQAP+ community. This time, luck did play a part with me, because my Aunty Gail provided me with a family home to visit which was always filled with true authentic love, support, and acceptance. She, and Uncle Ray, even took me into their family home for a little while, when I first came out. Her knowledge of what to do, and what I needed all came from her experience with PFLAG+, but also because she was not "Just a Mum" to her own three children, but also a de facto Mum to me. Aunty Gail (and Uncle Ray) played a significant role in my life pretty much from when I was less than 5 years old, but most importantly after I came out in 2007, and I can honestly say, is someone who directly supported me in ways that have allowed my two sons to still have a father who walks this earth today. I was even Page Boy at their wedding in 1975. My Aunty Gail passed away in November 2023, but I was privileged to be able to bring her home from hospital and provide the direct end of life cares that allowed her dying wish to occur and be at home with her three sons around her. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to do this for her as some small token of gratitude for everything that she did for me over the last five decades. I have since becomes friends with Shelley, have read her book, and follow Shelley's mentoring of me in becoming a better father to my two sons, but also, a better friend to people around me. Shelley has taught me all sorts of things I simply didn't know around love, that I never learned as a child growing up, and thus, didn't know as a parent what to do, like normal true authentic love, but in particular support and encouragement, because of my own childhood experiences. I have since learned that because I didn't love myself (a consequence of Internalised Homophobia), I found it near impossible to love someone else like other supportive, loving parents naturally do. Click the buttons below to learn more about Shelley Argent and PFLAG+.
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