Melbourne: "The place to be" for me

I spent 10 days in Melbourne from Saturday 8 June 2024 to Monday 17 June 2024 for the VicBears Southern HiBearnation.

This is a major event in the Bears Calendar where Mr Australasian Bear is crowned annually.

Contestants come from Perth, Adelaide, Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and New Zealand.

This year there was Stewart from Perth, Nic from Adelaide, Mitch from Brisbane, Thomas from Sydney, Joenas from Melbourne and Tia from New Zealand.

Mr Australasian Bear 2024 was crowned and it was Tia from New Zealand.

A massive Congratulations to Tia.

But a massive Congratulations to all the contestants for representing all Bears from their respective states and New Zealand.

I have been to Melbourne 4 times previously for short trips, mostly to fly down for a Musical.

But this particular trip was my very first experience in the gay culture of Melbourne.

I am no stranger to the gay culture in Brisbane, or Sydney for that matter, but never in Melbourne previously.

I had the absolute best time of my life.

The primary purpose of this trip was Southern HiBearnation, but there was also a secondary purpose.

It was to experience the gay culture firsthand, to see if that is what I wanted all the time in my life.

One of my best friends, and member of my “chosen family”, Jei Li'Rann from Gay Health Australia, had been talking to me for well over a year about why I should live in Melbourne.

So I did a lot of research in the lead up to Southern HiBearnation as to the benefits of Melbourne over Brisbane.

Many people who know me closely, knew this was no secret, and some were even the recipient of my questions as to why they favoured one city over the other.

Those that know me very well also know I always do a lot of research before making a decision.

I believe in informed choice, just like informed consent. Those in education and health know specifically what the definition of "informed" means when used in this context and know this is how I operate.

They also know I am very open minded and do change my opinions when further information is presented to me.

That is what I call personal growth in the ever-evolving journey of life.

Many of my friends, professional colleagues and students in my classes will often have heard me use the term "the day you stop learning is the day you die - figuratively and literally".

What I mean by this is quite simply when you stop learning you die.

You either die quite literally, or if you close your mind while still alive, then you die figuratively, because life still goes on, you just get left behind in the past.

As has now become known, I have chosen to relocate permanently to Melbourne.

It is the "Place to be" for me because it is "Every Bit Different" in ways that touched my heart and I simply must "seas" the opportunity to live this life every day.

Brisbane will always be my hometown, and I will always return to visit blood and chosen family, but I am no longer a Queenslander at heart.

I am not a fan of Rugby League and if you want to learn why this is so, then read "My Story" which is published on my website.

So I don't relate to "State of Origin" and certainly don't blindly follow something out of parochialism.

I am not "rusted on" to anything.

I am always learning, always evolving, always growing.

For a very long time, I blended in to hide my true identity.

But not anymore!

I used to also think I never fitted into one particular group or perhaps stereotype.

But I have learned since I returned to the Bundaberg region, where I have now rewritten that fateful chapter of my history between 1982-1985 when I was a teenager, that my true identity has always been staring me in the face, I just couldn't see it myself.

I used to get heckled by my family back then for always dressing in nice clothes and for using specific brand products, and in particular, that I would travel to Brisbane to purchase these items as they weren't available locally in Bundaberg back then.

They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Both my two sons are like this in terms of fashion and brand products. Nick in particular.

The clothes I specifically liked in Bundaberg in the early 1980's were only available in the one and only fashionable store called "The Muscular Arm".

But unfortunately, others knew this too, and would purchase the same or similar items.

I never like wearing the same things as others, as even back then, I was trying to stamp my individuality, my uniqueness, even if it was only me who saw that in myself.

These days, I buy my items online, but from overseas, just to do this same pattern again.

Initially, I didn't realise the motives behind me doing this. It was subconscious.

But the past 7 months in the Bundaberg region, where I have re-discovered my true identity and started living every bit of it, I have come to realise I don't belong in any one community, group or even stereotype.

I belong in them all.

As is the Visit Melbourne slogan presently, I am "Every Bit Different".

I am The Real Anthony now: a very unique human.

And I am so PROUD of myself for that, and NO ONE can take that away from me!

Vic Bears Inc. President Damien Hickey best summed up why I feel drawn to Melbourne in his closing speech at the recent Southern HiBearnation 2024 event.

Although Damien was speaking about Southern HiBearnation in general, to me however, he was speaking about Melbourne as a whole, because that's what I found in Melbourne, not just with all the Vic Bears Inc. Southern HiBearnation events.

I have found my TRIBE in Melbourne!

I am no longer lost.

I no longer need to "Search for the Hero" inside myself.

I found him at Southern HiBearnation '24 in Melbourne!

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