My Life Story in 7 music clips

Music has been a very significant part of my life. As a very young boy living in the family home in Bracken Ridge, Brisbane, Australia, I would always ride my bike to the local record store and buy the latest 'single' to bring home and play on my record player. Yes, they were vinyl's in the 1970's.

My earliest memory of which record I purchased was from ABBA. I even had an ABBA scrapbook. One of the funniest comments I get from friends who I tell this story to is "how did you not know you were gay?" The mid 1970's were a world away from where we are today with LGBTIQAP+ acceptance, so we will just leave it there in regard to what I want to share in this post.

Music became my escape from reality, and a source of comfort in my troubled times.

My playlists today are grouped into categories which are related to what they mean and do for me. I have titled them My Growth, My Empowerment, My Hope, My Feel Good and My Relaxation.

The My Growth one is by far the largest and is a journey from when I was a very young boy right up to today. The seven songs I have chosen from it below are a summary of My Life Story in music. If you look up the lyrics, you can read along as they are performed.

"Doctor! Doctor!" to me represents me knowing what I wanted, but also knowing society back in my childhood said it was wrong. It also represents me calling out for support in understanding my sexuality, but that nothing was available back in the 1970's and 1980's, like it is today.

"Alone" to me represents simply that, feeling alone, even in a relationship with a woman. Although at the time for many years, I never understood why.

"Brilliant Disguise" to me represents what I ultimately did.

"Shape of My Heart" to me represents me 'trying to be someone' (else). It's also my 'confession', my remorse at the pain I caused, me telling my story, that I 'got nothing to hide no more', that 'I never want to play the same old part', and that now, I am living my best life, and you can see me for all I am, that is, the true 'Shape of My Heart'.

"A Sky Full of Stars" to me represents courage and never giving up no matter what rejection and hate is directed towards me. For me, it's about self-belief in myself because eventually, I will be seen, I will no longer be invisible, and as I continue to evolve, my visibility grows.

"Search for the Hero" to me represents me evolving and working out how to be the very best version of myself.

"This is Me" to me represents where I am today, and how PROUD I am of myself, and that I am not afraid to be the true authentic version of myself anymore, and in particular, the same town where in 1983, I chose to be 'someone else' because I was too scared to be the true authentic version of myself back then.

This last clip is particularly important to me because in 1987, in my second year of college in Rockhampton, where I was becoming a school teacher, the music curriculum class I was in had a specialist choir vocalist up from down south coaching us, a group of around 100 students, and whilst we were all singing, he said something like 'I can hear someone off key'. It didn't take him long to publicly single me out for being 'off key', and tell me to stop singing and lip sync it. I was 19 years old at the time, and that haunted me until I finally overcame my absolute fear of karaoke at The Sportsman Hotel in Brisbane, Australia (Sporties) in October 2023, some 36 years later and sang for the very first time ever on stage, and completely sober too. I debuted with "Brilliant Disguise". A deliberate choice by me to commence my pathway in karaoke. I'm still 'off key', but I no longer care, because I no longer fear fear in my quest to be the very best version of my true authentic self.