"Search for the Hero inside yourself"

For a very long time now, I guess I would say that I was lost.

As I look back on my life these days, I became lost in the 1970's because I tried to become someone else, in order to fit into society and not be bullied, attacked, threatened, isolated, rejected and basically quite simply hated.

That really was the core root of my fears back then.

A song that has always been with me in relation to being 'lost' has been "Search for the Hero" inside yourself by Heather Small from M People. I was always searching for my purpose, my happiness and really quite simply trying to search for who I really was as a person.

It has pretty much taken me from the mid 1970's to 2024 to actually work out who I really am, what truly makes me happy, and to regain my passions in life and for life.

My career history is really varied now, and some recruiters have even said to me that my work history is unstable. What they fail to comprehend is firstly, the reasons behind my changes, but more importantly, what I have learned from each role I have experienced and what that brings to each new employer.

My testimonials and referee reports all have a common thread to them. I am often unorthodox in my approach and that I care and take a personal interest in everyone I encounter. I still have all my school report cards and they even say pretty much the same thing right back to Year One.

Even some members of my family still to this day prefer the narrative of unstable and constantly changing and frame this as a negative in me.

But I am PROUD of my 'Out of the Box' style, my uniqueness and me quite simply 'doing different' to everyone else.

It's who I am and I will no longer allow anyone to make me feel bad for this, and as a result, get me to be invisible again like I became from 1983 onwards.

I am no longer lost, I have been found. I no longer need to "Search for the Hero inside myself".

I found myself, and ironically, it was returning to Bundaberg, Queensland, Australia, the town where I became invisible from 1983 onwards and for me to rewrite that chapter of my history and to finally be visible in Bundaberg, so that the Real Anthony Baildon is ultimately visible to the world.

In terms of my career and what I am about, I have also worked out it was staring me in the face in plain sight.

I just couldn't see it because I was lost in terms of my personal identity.

But I found my way out of the forest I went into to find safety and worked out my passion IS primarily education, however I am also concerned about a lack of media diversity in Australia, and as a result, media's role influencing issues related to climate change, discrimination, the LGBTIQAP+ community, politics, public education and democracy itself.

The music clip is "Search for the Hero" by Heather Small from M People. 

For all my links around this, visit my LinkTree by clicking the button below.

Now that I am visible, I can show everyone the true "Shape of My Heart"..

"Looking back on the things I've done

I was tryin' to be someone

I played my part, kept you in the dark

Now let me show you the shape of my heart

I'm here with my confession

Got nothing to hide no more

I don't know where to start

But to show you the shape of my heart

I'm lookin' back on things I've done

I never wanna play the same old part

Keep you in the dark (keep you in the dark)

Now let me show you the shape of my heart."